Introduction
It's not often that I say "Jesus, I'm never staying here again" and as someone who does about 200 hotel nights a year, that's a big statement because after a while, all hotels tend to morph themselves into one bland corporate experience.
However, that said, this past weekend I found a lodging where I had possibly the worst night's sleep of my life. Let me introduce you to the Alpine Garden 'capsule' hotel. The concept is simple: you pay for a basic narrow 'pod' sized sleeping cabin, without many frills, which is clean and comfortable.
The idea of sleeping in a coffin is nothing new. They've been around in the Far East for decades. But in Europe the venture has had mixed reviews - recently the Yotel Heathrow closed permanently because it couldn't compete with people who wanted a more conventional hotel room rather than a small square that was invariably expensive when compared to the more traditional hotel room concept.
Yet Capsule Services AG, the Lucerne-based company behind today's hotel believes that it can make the idea work in Central Europe. In 2022, after seeing success in other parts of Switzerland, they opened the biggest coffin-themed hotel in Europe at the prime location of Zurich Airport.
The Room/Capsule/Coffin..call it what you like..
The Alpine Garden Capsule Hotel boasts 144 'capsules' that are segregated into smaller units. Because the people of Switzerland can't be trusted to keep their hands to themselves, sadly, some have had to be sealed off to female only zones. A sad reflection of the times.
You park your shoes and larger cases beneath your allocated capsule, punch in your capsule access number and hey presto, your coffin door slides open and in you pop, for that after-life experience.
My first impressions were a) it's clean, b) there's no in-coffin entertainment and c) it was hot, seriously hot - easily 30c but that 'air conditioning' which the website brags about was nothing more than a trickle of forced air (at least at Premier Inn you can adjust the temperature, which you can't here).
I went to bed at midnight but after trying hard to sleep for several hours, I got up at 4am to go and sit in the bar area and watch movies until it was time for me to leave and get my flight.
It's fair to say that I was exceptionally tired and in a very grumpy mood.
The Bathroom..
Things didn't fare too much better in the bathrooms where there are a few showers and toilets, both free of charge to use.
As you'd expect, there is no en-suite here, but everything is within easy reach of your tomb.
At first, when I entered the bathroom, I thought "this seems modern" and it is. Except, it wasn't very clean, it was fairly swamp-like but the towel they gave me was ok.
As you can see in the image, another guest decided to dry his clothes (including underwear) on the radiator. They were there a few hours and the hotel didn't do anything about it.
I had a quick, unpleasant shower and left.
Eats and Drinks..
If there is one redeeming feature of my stay here, it's that the reception/bar/restaurant/work area was ok. There are a few chairs with plug sockets and the wifi was excellent. Tip: the hotel website doesn't tell you how to access the wifi so I will..log on to 'Zurich Airport' and the password is your confirmation number (not your capsule number).
Beer is priced at a reasonable equivalent of £5 a bottle (decent for Switzerland) and you can get hot food here if you wish such as pizza. I went for a wander instead to the food court at the airport across the road where there is Indian, Chinese and American food available.
Conclusion
I know it might sound like I’m not a fan of capsule hotels, but that’s not the case. I recently gave the 'Nappods' at Berlin Airport a try, and they seemed pretty decent at first.
For me, a hotel’s main job is simple: give you a good night’s sleep. Unfortunately, this place didn’t deliver. The temperature inside the capsules was just way too hot to get any real rest. That’s what ruined the whole experience for me.
I get the vibe they’re going for with the flashy neon signs and motivational quotes—it’s trendy and aimed at a younger crowd. But at the end of the day, all the cool branding doesn’t matter if the basic purpose of the place—helping you sleep—isn’t met.
I left the capsule hotel feeling completely drained. I was overheated, exhausted, and still had a full day of travel ahead. It was miserable.
This was, hands down, the worst hotel stay I’ve ever had. The concept is great, but they seriously need to rethink how they handle the sleeping experience. You can’t expect anyone to sleep well in those kinds of temperatures.
I don’t plan on going back anytime soon.
I paid 75CHF (around 67GB) for this short stay.
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